aut amentia aut conciliatio

i don't think i'm fooling anyone... but i did come back... from early retirement as it were for a reason... there was a purpose to my return.... yes... i neglected my committment to the search for truth.... but it's more than that... it's about me... duh... self-abosorbtion?
it's about infatuation...

kinda harsh description when i looked it up on the latin dictionary that i use... yes thanks very much... to "Words by William Whitaker" found on this Notre Dame website... (http://lysy2.archives.nd.edu/cgi-bin/words.exe)....
harsh!
... extreme folly... madness... stupidity... fenzy.. violent excitement...
i pray to God that i'm not suffering from infatuation...
(yes... with reference to a young lady - the fairer of our species)

but what if i am....
what are the symptoms...?
how can i tell for sure...?

let's try to work this one through... starting with what i do know...

the object of my...umm.. attention... the reason for my distraction.... is a young lady...
ok.... so we have the girl...
and we have me.... the guy...
we also have a relatively new friendship/relationship developing between the two...
previously to some sort of acknowledgment of an attraction to said girl...
there was a level of interaction that was limited to the arena of liming...
cool...
so there was interaction.... on liming level... (am i repeating myself unneccessarily?)
what does one do when liming with 'friends'? (be careful with that word... it's abused far too often)
you drink... you may party... you talk... you dedicate a certain amount of free time to these ppl...
so.... one would hope that it is time well spent... and i certainly have no regrets....
ok facts...

girl
guy
met relatively recently
lime together with other parties
lime good

what else do we know for sure?

girl is good looking... yes that's a fact too!!!
:)
umm....
i mean... there are a number of other attributes which i could describe which would refer to her intelligence... sense of humour... good nature.. quick wit.... wickedly broad smile... but are those facts?
technically speaking (according to dictionary.com) a fact is something that actually exists; reality; truth...i guess i could take a poll and say for sure that she does demonstrate said attributes... but all that aside.. i stray

so the girl has got it going on... fact :)

let's go again

girl
guy
met relatively recently
lime together with other parties
lime good
girl has got it going on

fact... i'm definitely more open (i.e. in my actions that evidently betray me) when sobriety levels drop....

how does that quote go...?

in vino, veritas...in wine, there is truth...

so then?

infatuation or genuine attraction?

what makes the difference...?

when in doubt back to basics...

infatuation:
a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
an object of extravagant, short-lived passion.

attraction:
a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure
...magnetic charm; fascination; allurement; enticement

great.... so i'm simply attracted to her... why?
because if infatuation is an unreasoning or extravagant passion... or attraction... and here i am reasoning it out... then it follows that there is reason... and thus this attraction is not unordered or extravagant....

so..............
now then....
do i like her because she is the source of my attraction...??
or am i attracted by her person... and have decided because of this that i like her...??
now i'm just trying to confuse myself...

she is attractive to me... because of her beauty and her personailty.... i have no choice but to be drawn to her... that which she represents.... this gift of life from God... and formed by His hand and her interactions with her family, friends and enemies over the years..... arouses in me that which i find it hard to step away from.... her beauty is the beauty of one that i would like to get to know intimately.....